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How to be Gracious Online

This blog post was inspired by an article I read in the September 2007 edition of Vogue.

I was sitting at the hairdresser last week, having my foils done, and I came across the following excerpt, taken from the interview with Capricia Penavic Marshall, the social secretary to President and Mrs Clinton from 1997 until 2001;

“Nothing is more elegant than beautiful manners. People who can handle any situation with grace, humour and aplomb will be welcome guests ans treasured friends.”

Miriam-Webster – definition of Gracious;

1 a obsolete : GODLY b archaic : PLEASING, ACCEPTABLE
2 a : marked by kindness and courtesy <a gracious host> b : GRACEFUL c : marked by tact and delicacy : URBANE d : characterized by charm, good taste, generosity of spirit, and the tasteful leisure of wealth and good breeding <gracious living>
3 : MERCIFUL, COMPASSIONATE — used conventionally of royalty and high nobility

As I read through the some of the tips in this article, I thought to myself, this applies to our online life as much as it does off-line…

I thought instantly, about all the times someone had been gracious to me online and the people that had not. Those that have been rude are not highly thought of or called upon to ‘join in’. Those that have been polite and gracious are in my close networks, circle of friends and I sincerely love communicating with them online.

So here are a few of my tips

The basics;

• Send a proper invitation to your event. In the age of email, faxes, voice mail, SMS, IM, there’s nothing like receiving a personalised, or formal invitation. These days I’m happy with a postcard received by ’snail mail’ or a flyer sent to me online with a personal note attached. I am particularly responsive to personal invitations as opposed to group invites and a quick response to the event ‘host’ is a must.
• Introduce yourself online as well as off! If you want to see how this is done, watch some old 50’s movies. Introduce yourself to your host first, then to others at the event. Give people a little background on who you are and where you come from. Give people a break if they forget your name or who you are. Avoid creating embarrassing pauses.
• Introduce others. A good host makes as many introductions as possible. Connect people with similar interests and goals., allow your guests the opportunity to network and take something away with them.
• Follow Up immediately after an event. A gracious guest should always follow an event up with a ‘thank you’ note. Make sure to include an example of something you got out of the event that shows how much you valued or enjoyed it.
• Accept a Compliment. Try not to deflect compliments, just say ‘thank you’. If you think about this, deflecting a compliment is telling someone they are wrong and could actually insult the person complimenting you!

Modern times;

• Virtual apologies are also very important. If you are in a virtual world and bump into someone, just as you would in real life, excuse yourself! If you offend someone online, apologise. You are still communicating with real people and good manners are still very important.
• Email Etiquette – “oh to see yourself as others see you”. So many people use email and so many people misuse it. How you represent yourself in an email is crucial to who you are and who you represent. How much do you know about email etiquette at work? It’s important to understand that you need to be professional and efficient if you are communicating on behalf of you company. Their liability is at stake. Employee awareness of email risks will protect your company from costly law suits. More… > AFTRS email etiquette guidelines
• Blog Etiquette – Advise authors of broken links. Thank readers for their comments, feedback and suggestions, and not always on the blog, sometimes personally, via email (this also increases your readership – trust me!). Thanks other bloggers for linking to your blog, it increases traffic and your search engine rankings, so is very valuable to you. Recommendations speak loudly!

Please feel free to add your own tips by posting a comment.

Images borrowed from RetroLife